newly diagnosed and very depressed and scared dont wanna die

My brother has full blown AIDS since 1992 I think and he still living. He is in his early 40's and he has a job and working out and eating healthy and taking all of his medications that requires of him to take for his disease he has.

I know he had attempt to kill himself when he first found out he was HIV positive and then he had lot of support from people that knew him.

The best advice is for you to is stay healthy as eating healthy meals, working out, and continue on what you are doing and keep taking your medications that it given to you. Also you can join support groups out side of your home area that they do have lot of HIV and AIDS support groups that you can attend. Also therapy but recommended that you go to the one that deals with HIV and AIDS since they have better understanding of it and lot of therapist may be infect with it and/or a survivor from AIDS and HIV.

Just hope that you don't give up on that and keep positive on what you do have...

im jus very scared and worried about my future if ill be able to get married or have a child if anyone will love me again or will i be alone

i know how you are feeling, and everybody says its a manageable disease, does that make me feel better, no. Im scared that I wont meet anybody either. Your feelings are shared, all that I can say is one day at a time, its the only thing thats working for me
Im here for you

hi sweetie i remember when i was first diegnosed with hiv. a few days later i was told my blood counts put me in the aids catagory. i t was explained to me what the defined the difference between hiv and aids was. i wandered why. how could i still be alive. i was told my cd4 was 20. well that was 16 years ago. i try to always be grateful to god for every day even the bad ones. try not to let it bring you down. life has changed a lot. now i take the time to smell the roses. some times i look into the thast sky and realise how awsome it is. and i always carie hope. there have been a lot of awful days as well as awsome days since my diegnoses,every one im grateful for. well carie love and hope in your heart every day and u will see life is still wanderful. if u respond to this it might be a few days 4 me to get back to u.

i got my labs from a few months ago today that i didnt know i had, I was at 675 t cell, and undetectable. And I thought i was dying. It sure felt like it, sick as shit

had labs done today, i should have new results later today.
spoke with wife, probably better if i dont talk to her. the only thing that makes me feel good is my recovery and the fact that im a decent man minus my character defects which im working on in AA. Boy I cant believe how meetings a day and getting plugged in has helped me. night and day difference

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Hi; I do understand how you feel. I want through the same thing 21 years ago. started using drugs at first then as a way to kill myself. Three years later I was still here, still had hiv and a drug problem on top of that. I finally accepted that I had hiv and that I may as well learn to live with it. I educated myself about hiv. Learned what I call the do's and don'ts and the can's and can'ts I also started to open up about my condition to other people Didn't get the rejuction I thought I was going to get. In fact my current wife and I got together after I opened up to her about my condition. Plus today the medical community is so much better. 21 years and I still haven't progessed to aids.
In the beginning the fight is more mental or at least it was for me. Once I started accepting it, things got better. I found a good hiv doctor and together we charted a path for me to follow. I got involved with a couple hiv suppout groups to get around other people who had hiv and it helped me realize that I wasn't alone with this. That other people were going through the the same things and feeling that I was.

I just joined this group tonight and her you are reaching for help. See how GOD works. GOD don't want you dead. He wants you to be here to help someone else. Which you will do once you get better with yourself.
REMEMBER THIS-----------YOU LIVE WITH HIV BUT HIV ALSO HAS TO LIVE WITH YOU. I say that to you to say LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE BEST THAT YOU CAN

There are other tools you have available to you which can get you through this tuff time. I know these emotions do not just go away but you can fight the depression and bring yourself into new awareness about life. You will get through this and other obstacles. I really like what was said about helping others who are going through the same thing. You will do this too. When you find something that works, write it down as a resource. You will then see you are a very special person who deserves to feel well.

Please do understand that women who are positive are out there making love and getting married and having negitive babies today. Get to a doctor and get your health together. Both physical and mental and you will be alright.

I am a 41 year old female who has never been married but has been sexually active with many partners. Not all with condems and I also realize that even condems are not 100% effective in prevention in the spread. I have no medical insurance and my job does not pay much money. A part of me wants to get tested but a part of me is too scared to find out for sure. For the past 10 years I have been donating blood to Red Cross and never received a call saying I am no longer elligilbe to donate blood but that is not ease my mind totally. Lately I have been thinking that if I find out I am either HIV or AIDS positive that I will commit suicide. I will take my dogs and cats to the dog day care, pay in cash for a couple days worth of care, come back to my house, write a letter to my mom and siblings about how sorry I am for leaving this life so soon and causing them heartach, and send a delayed email to my out of state brother to send the police to my house to find me instead of my mom. I know this sounds twisted but I feel so alone and shameful of my past and heck I have not even been tested. I am just assuming that I already am positive given my past. I have no friends but I do have a loving, supportive family. I am sooo scared about facing the truth.

hi kittyj ive read your thoughts .u sound like a perfectly normal sexualy active person. do u think u might be over thinking some of this? it sounds like u are careful during sex. u give blood and certainly the red cross would let u know of any blood problems. i want u to know hiv or aids would be no reason to give up on life. i remember when i found out of my condition i thought the worst. well that was 16 yrs ago. i stay gratful for every day. i got to see my daughter graduate from school and now have a granddaughter 3 yrs of age. never give up their are so many people with more reasons to give up than u. u will fill better when u get checked. dont be scared. knolwege is everthing. well god bless and u might be abusing yourseif for no reason.