Fairly new to this and need support!

Welcome to the site!

It seems that you are doing exactly what needs to be done to protect your wife during sex, while condom use does not protect her 100 percent it is truly the best method available at the present time. Also, by taking your meds it also help reduce her risk of infection. You both seem to have figured out ways to stay intimate without intercourse, so that is a totally viable solution as well.

Here is some information that validates that you are on the right course:

Couples can reduce (but not completely eliminate) the risk of transmitting HIV to the healthy individual through proper, consistent condom use.

"When you use condoms for vaginal intercourse, it reduces the risk of transmission of HIV by 85 to 90 percent," says Dr. Shuford. However, "the risk is still there even when a condom is used correctly and consistently."

What Are the Chances of Getting HIV?

For each act of intercourse, the odds are actually only around 1 in 1,000 that the healthy partner will contract HIV, according to Shuford. However, when you add that up over weeks, months, and years, a person in a relationship with an HIV-infected partner is at much higher risk. "The risk is additive over time and it's important that people realize that condom use needs to occur every time," Shuford adds.

The exact level of risk of the uninfected partner contracting HIV depends on several factors, including how well the infected partner’s HIV is being managed. Shuford notes that people who aren't taking medication for their HIV will have higher concentrations of the virus in their bodily fluids, making it more probable that they could pass it on to a sexual partner.

People who are managing their HIV with medication will usually have less of the virus in their blood and bodily fluids, which decreases the risk that they will transmit it to a partner. However, being on HIV medication does not eliminate the risk of transmission, so condoms must still be used.

There are no documented cases of HIV having been contracted through saliva, so couples are generally given the OK to kiss as much as they want. However, there is a theoretical risk of transmitting the virus through deep kissing if the infected partner has open mouth sores or blood in his saliva (perhaps from severe gum disease) and the uninfected partner also has sores or cuts in or around the mouth.

Sexual partners can also engage in other acts of intimacy in which bodily fluids are not exchanged, or where bodily fluids don't come into contact with the mucous membranes that line the mouth, anus, and vagina.
(http://www.everydayhealth.com/hiv-aids/hiv-sexual-intimacy.aspx)

Again, welcome!

Wishing you the very best-
CK

I'm 21 years positive and been with my current wife 11 years. I'd say that during our first 5 years together we had sex more often that I had in my intire life. My motto was and still is STRAT UP EACH AND EVERY TIME. I also educated myself about hiv. Hiv is NOT an easy disease to pass or catch. I've had condoms break and come off. She is still negitive. I take my meds and keep my viral load as low as possible. The rest I put in GODS hands